Street Dialogue

"Yah grahduated tahday? Where from? Well congrahtulations to yah. Oh you're so pahlite. You're adahrahble."Where is this speaker from? What's the cadence of her speech? Do you think she's intelligent? Is she older, younger, middle-aged?Now consider:"You graduated today? Where from? Well congratulations to you. Oh you're so polite. You're adorable."The character who gave this speech is very different from the speaker of the opening line. It's possible there's an undercurrent of condescension, perhaps sarcasm, in these words. The perfect enunciation has a very different effect from the exaggerated "ahs" of a Boston accent. My picture of the two women is very different.Of course, that's because the first woman drove me from the airport to my hotel just after I graduated from college. Her words are a paraphrase of a conversation we had. Her accent was pronounced and wonderful and my model for (poor) impressions to this day. The unique sounds and patterns of speech are an opportunity to bring character's to life on the page. Not every person speaks in the same way. Not every character in a story should, then, either.***Come here, girl, let me look at you, damn, Damn! You look ten out of ten Versace Lamborghini come run across the street let me pick ya up. I gotta song to sing to ya let me hear ya say you wanna hear it, good, lady in white gonna dance with me tonight got her glassy pretty bright eyes on me nobody else me gotta stay and sit and hit my tuxedo in the wash but it'll be ready for Mondeey. The week looonnnng and Jesus never says nobody and when the dirt don't come out it crystallize, crystal-liiize, that what she said to me Tuesdeey.***This is based on a real character I knew from my early teens. He walked around a popular street and talked to girls but was a little bit crazy. If I was doing a second draft of the above, I'd look for portions that, while they are things the man would say, seem too neat or too loose. Dialogue gives the appearance of actual speech, but must serve the story above all.Getting Started: 1Character: 1Point of View and Tone: 1Plot and Narrative: 1Dialogue and Voice: 1Descriptive Language and Setting: 0Revision: 0Overall: 0