All the Things you Didn't Say

Imagine the scene: a mother rests her hands on her hips as she talks to her teenage daughter. The girl purses her lips and rolls her eyes. Her mother says, "Fine. Do whatever you want."Now imagine this exchange:Mom: "I'm worried about you, Nancy."Nancy: "Why, Mom?"Mom: "You've been staying out beyond curfew and that's causing me a lot of stress."Nancy: "Mom I'm a teenager. I'm in the twelfth grade and I should be able to do what I want to do."Mom: "I disagree. Let's discuss this."The second exchange is forced. The characters announce what they are doing, feeling, and desiring, which drains the tension from the passage in part because no one talks like this. The characters are therefore not believable; nothing is at stake when the characters are not real. When a life-and-blood human being speaks, a huge part of their meaning comes from what is left unsaid. Remember your first crush. Few among us can claim to have been able to approach that person and say, "I like you." Notes passed through friends, or a hopeful smile, or wide-eyed adoration were common actions meant to convey that simple phrase. When something means a lot, it can be difficult to say. For your characters to be real, words should sometimes be difficult for them to say too.In the first passage, the mother does not mean "Do whatever you want." She means, "I'm finding it very difficult to talk to you" and "you've pushed me past a point that I can continue this discussion." But the tension rises because she doesn't say that, and the reader is aware that she wants to say that. This is called subtext. Whole plots can be based on subtext, the things that characters never say. For a masterclass in this device, read Hills Like White Elephants by Ernest Hemingway. Never once is the topic of the conversation mentioned outright, but the meaning is clear.Today, the goal is to write a scene that has subtext.***Jamie and his mother sat at the table. He held her hand in his, and watched tears stream down her pale cheeks. He felt tremors in her long, white fingers."I've been a terrible mother," she said."Mom...""No, I have. I've missed so much of your life.""You had things on your mind."They fell into silence, broken by sobs from the woman."The nanny...""Mom we've been over this."She ignored him."...the nanny had excellent reviews. I thought she would take care of him. I never thought he could have gotten out by the pool by himself. If I hadn't been..."She cried harder. Jamie pressed his lips together."You can't change the past.""But it's simple. If I were a good mother, this wouldn't have happened."She pulled her hand from his and twisted her wedding ring in her fingers."I stopped going to meetings. Then I stopped going to church. Part of me must have known, why else would I have hired the nanny? I'm a terrible mother."Jamie's face twisted between fury and despair, quite suddenly. He controlled himself."There's nothing to be done about it now," he said, his voice devoid of emotion. "Just be better. Go to meetings.""I can't," she said. "I can't."Her hand shook badly as she toyed with the wedding ring."I want you to do the obituary. I can't manage it.""Mom, we've...-" he began."Don't!" she shouted.He fell silent.***Tomorrow, descriptive language and setting!Getting Started: 2Character: 2Point of View and Tone: 2Plot and Narrative: 2Dialogue and Voice: 2Descriptive Language and Setting: 1Revision: 1Overall: 1*Level 1*And so?