The Dream

"To write is human; to edit is divine."-Stephen King. On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft.Stephen King claims that writing is time travel. With a book, the reader moves through time and space to the Old West, or the south of France, or a jungle in Africa. Writing is a dream, in every sense. The nightmare of a horror like The Silence of the Lambs and the fantasy of a romance like The Notebook are only possible if the author doesn't do something that makes the reader wake up.There are, unfortunately, many mistakes that the author could make that would pull readers from their dream state.  The first type of mistake is common, and easy to understand: the writer makes glaring errors in grammar or rhetoric. I worked on an editing project in which the author largely ignored the rules of written English. I focused so much on the mistakes that he had made that I can hardly remember the details of the story. In less extreme cases, the reader will focus on the story for a while, but a mistake in punctation or an awkward phrasing makes it clear to them that they are reading a book and not actually climbing the Andes or casting a spell or caring for a soldier.The second type of mistake is also common, but more difficult to understand. Authors love language, and often come up with metaphors or dialogue or scene descriptions that are so clever they want to find someone and show them their perfect words. These perfect words are too powerful. They jar the reader awake to ponder the author's creativity and intellect. As an author, I am tempted to encourage readers' wondering at my literary prowess. But the reader should be so engrossed in the story that the author is forgotten until the reader is finished. Therefore, phrases the author considers perfect often need to be taken out.Today, the task is to murder your darlings.***1) Text: Fuming at his helplessness, he stormed through the bushes, whacking with vehemence at innocent shrubs. He heard a rustling in the leaves that sent a cold wave through his face. He listened. The sound came from ahead, through a wall of ferns. Looking at the ferns, he realized there must be water close by. (This sentence repeats the word "ferns" breaking a rhetorical rule. I'd change the sentence to: "Looking through the fronds, he realized there must be water close by.) Bagby crept forward, and could hear the rush of a river. Caution restrained his every motion. He parted the ferns.2) Overall Note: The opening is sparsely described. I may have overcorrected in my attempt to avoid using flowery language. More interesting details would make the scene come to life. As it stands, I was not pulled into the story until Bagby is deciding what to do against the snake.3) Text: The higher he walked the farther they rose, and he realized that he was walking downhill. (This sentence should read: The farther he walked the higher they rose, and he realized that he was walking downhill.)***I did not have any darlings to murder this time, and I think that's a sign that I need to take a bit more risk with my description. The best sentences are those that keep the reader within the dream but paint a vivid enough picture to keep the reader entertained. In my effort to follow Rodin's advice, I overcorrected. The real effort for editing yesterday's piece will be to add more memorable details.***Getting Started: 2Character: 2Point of View and Tone: 2Plot and Narrative: 2Dialogue and Voice: 2Descriptive Language and Setting: 2Revision: 2Overall: 2*Level 2*