Conflict and Humor

Dialogue should do something. Remember the rule from blog posts past: every sentence in the story should accomplish more than one goal for the author. Consider this passage:"Hello.""Hi.""How was school?""Good, how was your day?"Each sentence above should have at least two points that justify its inclusion. For these sentences, the author would be hard-pressed to provide one answer, let alone two.The solution is to use dialogue to move the story along and develop character and reward the reader for turning the page. Two simple methods are to build conflict and incorporate humor. Instead of the "Hello" above, the character could have said:-"What do you want?"-"You look like Bill Clinton's bed springs: all worn out."-"I had to see you."-"Aren't you the guy who films animals going at it for a living?"Today, the challenge is to write dialogue that both builds conflict and entertains, with humor.***"I thought you were taking us to the park.""That's how you say hello to your pops?""Whatever.""Don't make that face. You look like a canary. Especially with that haircut."..."You smiled.""No I didn't.""Just a bit?""No I didn't.""Agree to disagree.""Whatever.""So listen: take a look out the window."..."What are you upset about?""Why am I getting a car?""Because you deserve it. You're my son. Even though you look like a young Clark Gable, I'm somehow your father.""Well thanks, I guess.""No problem.""If there are strings attached, good luck. I'm not a good puppet.""Who said anything about strings? I hated Pinocchio. But look."..."I'm not going to be able to take you to that game today. But on the bright side! With the car, you can take yourself.""You're something out of a movie, Dad. Unbelievable."***My passage feels very forced to me, likely because my characters aren't flushed out. The dialogue happens more naturally when the author can evaluate, "Would the character say this?"***Getting Started: 3Character: 3Point of View and Tone: 3Plot and Narrative: 3Dialogue and Voice: 3Descriptive Language and Setting: 2Revision: 2Overall: 2*Level 2*